As I was watching the Paris Marathon last Sunday I couldn’t help but think about this horrible rumor I had heard, that wine slows down the metabolism. Just the thought of it sends my mind spinning in twenty, that’s right, twenty, different directions. Let me take this time to set the record straight. As a medical professional, which I am not, I can honesty tell you that the enjoyment of wine does not slow down your metabolism.

We have red wine, say a delicious Côtes du Rhône, which is excellent for the heart. It’s a scientific fact; trust me. The heart is in control, the “boss” of the rest of the body. I think we all know that if the boss is happy then everyone else is going to work efficiently, including metabolism, who is the one in the office that’s usually late all the time, everyone likes him, but he also gets on everyone’s nerves. At this point if you don’t know what I’m taking about, then I’m sorry but you’re metabolism. If the boss doesn’t have her wine, then we all know how the boss acts and then everyone works differently as well.

I think the real lesson here is to make sure your boss is drinking on the job. But I know what you’re thinking, what about white wine? I too asked this question. I’m really glad we’re on the same page here. Well wine, as we all know comes from grapes. And grapes are fruit, which we need a daily intake of for a healthy lifestyle. So drink away, it’s good for you. Say goodbye to those fad diets, don’t milk your diet, but Wine Your Diet. It’ll sweep the nation just you wait. I’ll be on Oprah by the beginning of the summer.

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